Memoirs
by Mina Pandora Ravenwing
Summary: My first fanfic. James, Laurent and Victoria were scary, but during the second world war there was a far more fearsome type of vampire, one that was used to fight the opposing countries. Rated M for blood and mass murder. R&R please! Better than it sounds
1. Prologue I

**Memoirs**

**I do not own Twilight, but I can dream.**

_**My first Fanfic.**_

_**James, Laurent and Victoria were scary, but during the second world war there was a far more fearsome type of vampire, one the military used to fight the opposing countries, France's ultimate secret weapon. Rated M for blood, mass-murder and in one chapter, attempted rape and graphic killing. Enjoy.**_

I was alone and scared, but that didn't stop me from being _thirsty,_ I still remember what I did, I was never going to forgive myself for it, I remembered the night I was changed so clearly, there was no way of forgetting the terrible burning pain that rocked me and took my mortality.

I was gone for six days and when I returned to my family, I couldn't control myself, I killed every last one of them and drained them of their blood, even my nephew, sweet young Michael, only a baby... After that day I tried everything to kill myself, I couldn't live with my conscience, _I wanted to __**die**_.

Those days merged into one, I couldn't sleep, nor did I need to for that matter, but still, the idea was the same.

I spent my time trying to use my thirst in a way that could benefit humanity, a war had started and life was hell so I didn't see a humanity to benefit, then I had a brainwave.

If I could get behind enemy lines (and let's face it, I'm a vampire, who's going to stop me?) I could wipe out hundreds! (not to mention quench my thirst)

So, with that, I began...


	2. Prologue II

**Memoirs**

_**So, here it is, Chapter 2! *Ta Da!***_

**Again I do not own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does, yada, yada, yada, on with the story. **

The wind on my skin as I ran was exhilarating, I could be a vampire for a millennium and never get used to it, I ran for miles and miles, it felt odd that I never tired.

I reached the border in a matter of minutes and I was greeted by the sickening stench of death and gunpowder. However, I was rewarded by a few dead bodies, I hated to take their honor like that, but their blood was cooling and I needed to keep my strength up, so I drained them, right there on the spot, hating myself more every time I swallowed, loathing myself for every unnecessary breath I took that should have been theirs.

I dived into a nearby trench, the uniforms the men were wearing marked them as Germans, their surprised glances made them look like they'd never seen a woman before, then I realized where I was. I made my way along the trench, snapping necks before their owners had time to draw breath.

That night I drank like a queen, I was filled with a sense of duty, like I had found my calling, and maybe I had.


	3. And so the Chapters Lengthen

**Memoirs**

_**I'm writing this because I got cyber-ditched.**_

**The usual, Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I don't.**

**Don't sue me.**

The morning air was crisp and sweet, I'd fed 'till sunrise and I felt full, despite the depression that hovered over me like my own personal raincloud.

I jumped from the trench and landed on a German helmet (something that wouldn't have happened had I been able to see where I was going). It crushed beneath me with a rather satisfying crunch.

I made my way across the battlefield not feeling the need to dodge the bullets, they bounced off me harmlessly.

I made my way to another German trench, this one looked to be deserted but I knew better. I lied down and pretended to rest with my eyes closed, soon enough my next meal started to make his way towards me, I heard the sound of him unzipping his heavy military trousers as he took baby steps toward me, trying not to disturb me. I had to restrain myself from doing it then and there, I knew however, that I could hold off until just the right moment, and it would make this one so much sweeter...

In one lunge the soldier dived on me, his hand over my mouth as he tried to force himself inside me, My moment was then, I kicked him, only lightly to me but I had enough force to slam him into the other side of the trench, I leaped to my feet and pounced.

I had him right where I wanted him, pinned beneath me and futilely struggling to free himself, I raised my hand in a claw-like position above his heart, and I rammed my hand inside his chest, puncturing his skin and crashing through his ribs before hitting home, I savored the agonized look on his face and his last painful breath, sending me spiraling into a flashback.

_**flashback**_

_I moved forward stealthily and carefully, before getting close enough to let instinct take over, I pounced on my unsuspecting meal from behind, latching on to his neck, I'd never really known what life was before it's brilliant, healing red washed over my teeth..._

I shook my head to clear my thoughts, bring myself back to the present and remember the luscious red surrounding my right hand, I closed my grip around his heart and pulled it out, veins snapping as I did so. I held his heart above my mouth and squeezed every last drop down my throat. after that I drained him much the same as the others.

_**I shouldn't enjoy this so much.**_


	4. Or not

**Memoirs**

**Blah Blah, I don't own Twilight, blah blah, Stephenie Meyer does, blah blah.**

_**Just because oozing wounds and crawling flesh make me feel whole.**_

After killing that soldier and easing the burning in my throat I jumped from the trench. A shell hit around 100 yards away, exploding and spraying shrapnel everywhere. I dodged a leg flying in my direction, the shell had obviously hit it's target.

I took off, running as fast as I could, I pounced on a soldier front on, latching on to his jugular vein as he tried in vain to push me off. His screams filled me with a satisfied feeling, a strange emotion I had no name for, like a nostalgic form of happiness. Soon though, the German's brothers in arms ran forward, shooting at me and screaming. With lightning speed I grabbed them, and one by one threw them into a nearby trench, with enough force to kill them. I dived in after them and feasted on their lifeblood.

I was well-fed and content, well, as content as one could be when your time in hell would last forever I guess.

I couldn't risk stopping to think about what I was doing, if I thought I would probably go insane. My chaotic inner thoughts were ripping me up inside.


	5. Carlisle

**Memoirs**

**Yeah, all that stuff about Stephenie Meyer owning Twilight, it's true, so don't sue me.**

_**I know it's been a while but you can read faster than I can type, so be patient.**_

_**In this chapter, you will find out Carlisle's actual past. He'd said that when he was first changed, he hid in a potato sack and waited for some deer. What if that was later, what if he hadn't always been a vegetarian?**_

So as I sat in the trench for the rest of the rest of the day wallowing in self-pity,

I heard someone calling breathlessly for a medic, he was calling, knowing no-one would come. I felt sorry for him, his accent marked him as French and I knew we needed every soldier we could get, I thought I'd drank enough blood to hold off killing him. I leaped from the trench and made my way toward the sound of his pained cries. I tried to prepare for the blood but when I spotted him, there was not as much blood as I thought there would be, then I saw why, the man himself was a medic and had a gunshot wound in his lower lung, plugged with a finger.

"Help him!" he was shouting,

"Help him!"

"Help who?" I asked, wondering if he was delirious. He gestured to his left with an incline of his head. I looked up and saw a greyish lump in the long grass about 30 yards away, I ran towards it and saw a dead Frenchman. I returned to the medic

"He's dead." I said plainly. The man made a pained groan, I picked him up gently and carried him over to the trench, trying to ignore the burning in my throat.

"What's your name?" I asked as I lied him down.

"Carlisle" He gasped.

"What were you doing out there?" I asked him. He groaned in pain.

"He was calling for help... I tried..."

"Calm down." I said while ripping a strip off the bottom of my shirt and rolling it up to make a plug for the wound

"Take out your finger." I said softly, but not in kindness, in pain. he groaned as he removed his forefinger from the gunshot wound and I quickly plugged it again with the cloth, getting some blood on my finger as I did so.

I turned around, not wanting him to see what I was doing, I licked all the blood off my finger, it was delicious, perhaps one bite wouldn't hurt... Me.

I turned back around to face him, he really was handsome, still, he had blood and I needed it. I leaned down, so as to check his breathing and in a flash, I attached myself to his neck.

I started drinking but found I didn't need any more. Which was strange because the burning in my throat didn't go away but I realized that it never would. I don't know where I got the strength from but I managed to pull away, surprised that he was still alive. I planned on keeping him that way.


	6. Transformation

**Memoirs**

**I do not own Twilight, but I can warp it to fit my ideas.**

_**This chapter's for Ash, or Emowaffles as some of you know her 'cause she always talks to me on MSN. It's starting to get really interesting here ok, don't go skimming through looking for a Carlisle x Ebony thing because you won't find it. Lol, my hand is still cramping so I'm still typing one handed. Sorry it's taking so long.**_

I stayed in that trench with Carlisle for days, living of the blood of people who came to investigate his screams. I sat by him, moistening his forehead with water from the canteens the soldiers I killed wore, I knew the burning he was feeling, I knew what he was becoming and I knew why.

He was becoming one of _me_, he was confused and he was on fire. He was thrashing and screaming, he was in so much pain and I wished I could help him, but this part he'd have to do on his own. I couldn't remember how long he'd been thrashing and screaming for, but I did know, that it would be coming to an end soon. Sure enough, his thrashing started to become less urgent and his screams less agonized, he would be a vampire soon, and soon, I wouldn't be alone.

A few agonizing hours passed until Carlisle opened his eyes, his brilliant crimson red eyes. I gasped, the pained look on his face was laced with confusion and his eyes were wide with terror.

"What am I?" he asked me, his tone nearly broke my heart.

"You're a vampire, I didn't know how to change someone and it was an accident I swear" I was freaking out, I'd just made someone immortal and the idea was confusing everything else in my head.

"Calm down, I know you wouldn't have done this purposely" he said, this must be confusing him so much, he's told he's immortal and then he has to hold _me_ together. Oh my god, I'm so selfish, I would've cried but I knew tears wouldn't come. Carlisle leaped to his feet.

"I need to feed" He said in a desperate tone. I knew how he was feeling, his throat would be on fire.

"Of course" I said, shaking myself back to reality, I took his hand and we jumped.


	7. First Feed

**Memoirs**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I'm borrowing it.**

_**This chapter is for Ashi, Milsy, Gingy, Tiffy, Madi and Nathan, because Ashi gave me the inspiration for the killing, Milsy got me out of the house for the first time in ages, Gingy always reads the stuff first to make sure it flows smoothly, Tiffy, because she thinks this is rad, Madi because she is rad and Nathan because I was feeling down and he made me so happy that I just had to write some gory killing scenes. Love all you guys xoxox, time for some blood.**_

We landed with an earth shaking thud and took off running at top speed, running until we finally found the most recent battleground, dead bodies, shell cases, clips and guns littered the landscape. Carlisle, being so thirsty, couldn't contain himself, he dived on the dead bodies and what he did, I couldn't call drinking, inhaling was a better word for it. Even as he feasted, I saw something in his eyes behind the blinding frenzy and thirst, it was... I really didn't know, anguish perhaps? He seemed somewhat pained by what he was doing, I knew that if he was given another choice, he would've rather died than do this. This man, this _vampire_, he has a soul. The battle was progressing, we were getting closer.

We kept going in this fashion for months, I don't remember at which point the decision was made to leave the war zone for somewhere calmer, but I do believe it was Carlisle's idea to move to Italy, where he originated from.


	8. Home Sweet Home

**Memoirs**

**Get the idea! I don't own Twilight!**

_**I have returned! Whoop whoop! The show will go on! Now, on we go!**_

It took us a considerable amount of time to reach Italy, even with our vampyric speed. We arrived at Carlisle's former residence at twilight. His father was on the front porch reading a novel.

"Father!" Exclaimed Carlisle, "I'm back from the war!" His father looked up from his novel, his face looked gleeful for a moment, then morphed to disbelief, then confusion.

"Carlisle? It can't be, you look so different!" His father said, then got up off his deck chair and made his way towards us. He got about twenty feet away before a breeze swept over us, it carried the scent of his father over to where we stood, my throat exploded. Carlisle looked shocked, then determined, in a flash, he held his breath and took off into an alley, his vampire abilities getting him there before his father could take another step. My gaze flickered back to Carlisle's father, who had a bewildered look on his face, I looked back to the alley Carlisle had disappeared into and ran after him.

Some seconds later, I found Carlisle in a potato sack.

"I nearly killed him!" He screeched, 'My own flesh and..." he shuddered, "Blood."

"Carlisle, I murdered all of my family," I confessed, "you are strong, you resisted temptation and showed control, you beat the thirst." I congratulated him.

"There has to be another way!" He said, his jaw set and determined. "I _will_ find another way, or I'll kill myself!"

"Oh it's _that _easy is it?" I asked bitterly.


	9. The Final, Most Cliched Chapter

**Memoirs**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, it's **_**that**_** simple.**

_**Chapter 9! Hurrah!**_

We spent days in that alley, Carlisle refusing to leave the potato sack for fear of killing someone. I had left the alleyway for a meal as I did every night, as usual, Carlisle refused to drink from the corpse I brought back. I could only imagine how much his throat must burn, he hadn't drank anything in a week and I was beginning to worry about him.

A while later, I heard something that sounded like footsteps, I knew we had to get out of there before we were discovered, but Carlisle wouldn't move. I had to take a chance, _Carlisle is strong, he should be able to control himself._ With that thought, I fled from the alley.

**Carlisle's P.O.V.**

She took of with lightning speed at the sound, I shrunk down into the potato sack and held my breath. A moment later, a herd of deer entered the alleyway, i could hear their pulses. _Blood._ I thought, _If they're alive, they'll have blood._ With that, I leaped onto the back of one of the passing deer and drank from it's juices. The flavour was all wrong, it satisfied me, but still seemed _wrong_.

Then it hit me, _I can sustain myself on this, I can survive on animal blood! _I called out to my traveling companion and she was at my side in a moment.

"I think we can do this, you know?" She said.

"So it would seem," I replied "Maybe we don't have to don't have to be the monsters everyone believes we are."

"There's always way Carlisle," she said, chuckling quietly at the extreme cliché this moment was.

"We're going to make it Ebony. I promised myself this and now I've done it. We proved them wrong..."

"Them?" She prompted.

"The humans, my father included. His hatred of vampires runs deeper than his love for a son, I know it. He believes that we're dehumanized beyond repair, we're uncivilized."

**I have just realized how much I hate this story...**

**It's going to be discontinued until further notice, apologies to anyone who might've enjoyed my three-line-paragraphs and uuber short chapters.**


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